Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

Even if you don't love your job, there is something very
comfortable about going to work each day. After a few months
or a few years with a company, you know what's going on.
You're aware of all the players, understand where the real
power is concentrated, and know how to approach your
coworkers and supervisors to keep everything running
smoothly.

When you lose your job, you are faced with the great
unknown. While there is the potential for all kinds of
positive developments, there is also a lost and alien
landscape around you. The comfort zone that allowed you to
move calmly through the day, without constantly checking
your radar to try to figure out what's happening, has
evaporated.

How do we survive outside our comfort zone without stressing
ourselves into a constant state of anxiety, nervous
exhaustion, or unhealthy frustration?

Here are some strategies to try.

1. Practice makes perfect.

Doing something new always makes us nervous. We don't want
to make mistakes. We don't want to look foolish. We want to
look competent, relaxed, and cool.

Comfort and confidence in a new activity only comes with
repetition and small successes. As you start your job
search, concentrate on one avenue at a time so you keep
repeating activities that gradually start to feel familiar.

If you are going to start with following up on classifieds,
for example, start making your telephone inquiries with the
least attractive ad. Keep calling all the way up to the most
promising-sounding opportunity. You will find that each call
gets a little easier and each time you sound a little more
relaxed.

If you are going to register with employment agencies, again
start with the least appealing. While filling out all the
paperwork, taking tests, and interviewing with a
representative can quickly become tedious, it will become a
more and more familiar routine. By the time you reach your
primary agencies, you will have your ducks in a row, all the
necessary information at your fingertips, breeze through the
screening, and make a far more positive self-presentation
than at your first contact.

The same rule holds true when you are networking (and I hope
you are!) It is best not to start with the people you think
are the most promising. Start with people who make you the
least nervous: family, close personal friends, former
coworkers. As you practice your script and start to feel
comfortable describing your situation and defining what you
are seeking, you can move towards those more formal contacts
who you suspect may be most helpful. The practice you have
had will allow you to project yourself in a poised, polished
manner.

2. Give it a try.

Often when I ask a client to do a specific activity, I get
the response: "I could never do that!" Take a few moments
before you dismiss anything out of hand. If a job search
technique is presented which seems daunting, at least obtain
as much information as you can about the details of exactly
how to do it.

Vague advice to "Just walk in and introduce yourself" is not
very helpful. You need to obtain specific actions, scripts,
and, if possible, practice what you are going to say with a
friend, a counselor, or, at the very least, a tape recorder
and a mirror.

If you have access to a counselor through school, an agency,
or a government office, pin them down for specifics. Ask
them to role play with you so you can fully understand how
to perform. Believe me, they will be delighted with your
interest and enthusiasm as they deal all day with people who
don't want to know details or learn how to do something but
just expect the counselor to "get me a job."

If you have no access to a professional, at least buy a book
or two. Skim through them first to make sure that they give
you the nuts and bolts in specific steps rather than a more
generalized view of career decisions.

Once you have the specifics of a technique, follow
suggestion number 1 - repeat many times to determine if it
becomes easier and more comfortable with time and practice.

3. Assess your performance objectively.

When we are looking for work, we tend to put pressure on
ourselves by thinking that we "have to" do something. While
there are some very effective job search techniques, and
some others that are not so valuable, it is important that
you include your personal style in the equation.

If you are a gregarious, outgoing friendly-with-everyone
type, you will doubtlessly do well at job fairs, cold
calling, and heavy networking with everyone you speak to. If
you are shy and find approaching a stranger emotional agony,
take that into account and concentrate on classifieds,
agencies, and networking only with very familiar people. If
job interviews turn you into a gelatin dessert, no matter
how prepared you are, temporary work may be an excellent
direction for you as you then have the chance to "interview"
for a permanent position simply by quietly doing a good job.

The best job search strategies in the world only work if
they fit your individual style. Don't be afraid to try new
techniques and give them enough trial and error to see if
they are effective for you. But also don't be afraid to
discard any tactics that raise your blood pressure, give you
heartburn, or make you feel that a root canal without
anesthesia would be preferable.

Freeing yourself from those internal "shoulds" and "ought
tos" can go a long way towards making you more relaxed, less
stressed, and feeling more positive about yourself and your
future. The old saying that "There's more than one way to
skin a cat" applies to your job search campaign also. There
are many roads you can travel and all can be successful if
you maintain a positive attitude and take care of your own
needs and preferences.

 Links For Unemployment/Job Search Sites