Unemployment Blues: Reframing The Pain

In addition to the anger and fear generated by job loss,
there is the total emotional devastation of being
figuratively thrown on a pile of human debris. Regardless of
the reason you are no longer working - company losses,
relocation, outsourcing - the process hurts!

You are being given notice that you are not as important as
you thought; that your employer and, by extension the world,
can get along very nicely without you. More than being
respected or being loved, we all desperately want to be
needed. Having others depend on our help and support feeds
into our self-image as a valuable human being. We feel so
much better about ourselves when we are able to give to
others rather than having to beg for help ourselves.

So along with the financial security and personal comfort of
our old job, we have lost confidence in our own self-worth.
We have allowed others to determine our value. We
subconsciously buy into that judgment by feeling that we're
not successful when we're not being productive.

Before writing your resume or combing the classifieds, take
time for self-assessment. Write down your personal as well
as your occupational strengths. Recognize the importance of
your many life roles: your intimate relationships, your
family, your children, your church, and your community.
While you identify with your occupation when dealing with
the world, remind yourself that any job is far less central
to the real you than are the people you love.

We tend to buy into our society's mantra that material
success is the ultimate goal and the only road to freedom
and happiness. While having plenty of money never hurt
anyone, in itself, it cannot be allowed to become our core
value without jeopardizing what it really means to be human:
to be connected, to care about others, to give of ourselves
in order to participate in meaningful, satisfying
relationships, the essence of a successful life.

For the next few weeks, you may need to concentrate most of
your energies on finding work. But in the process, hold on
to the important people in your life. Unemployment is
traumatic but usually temporary (although it may feel as if
it's going to last forever). Cultivating other aspects of
your individuality will not only sustain your belief in your
own value as you plod through the often degrading search for
work, but will also ensure that when the job search is
successfully completed that you still have a meaningful life
and exhilarating relationships to enjoy.

 Links For Unemployment/Job Search Sites